4.12.2004

All right, again I should be working on my research project. I'm in my free hour, and i'm feeling apathic again. It's only the first freaking day after break, and already all I want to do is go. Which reminds me of the CD I burned while I was home alone! (More on that later) It's really cool, with a completly eclectic mix of singers. A lot of what I call smooth rock, not soft, but smooth. Think Coldplay (Umm, I think The Scientist) and ballads by Lifehouse (Breathing, my FAVORITE song of theirs), Damien Rice (Delicate) and Sondre Lerche (It's Our Job). Then, we've got some of my old standby's -- Placebo (Protect Me From What I Want), Tea Party (The Messenger), Saliva (Rest In Pieces), Indigo Girls (Leaving), etc. I've got a few songs by better known artists, including this awesome song, Why Don't You and I, by Santana and another guy, Perfect by Simple Plan (I think they ripped off Coldplay. The opening of this song sounds exactly like the opening of Shiver.),With or Without You by U2, and So Long Sweet Summer by Dashboard Confessional. I've discovered some cool new artists, including Franz Ferdinand (Take Me Out) , Jet (Timothy), and A Perfect Circle (The Nurse Who Loved Me). Let's see, there're 20 songs and they're all by different artists...have I got them all? Oh, I've also got a song by some Chinese (Maybe Japanese?) guy, Dir En Grey. Almost forgot Silverchair, really cool band (I especially like After All These Years), and Magnetic Fields (All My Little Words), a really cool, very strange, band. Still missing two...Oh right, there's Beck (Lost Cause), who's sweet and rather sad. I'd just listen to the CD, but my battery is dying, and I don't want to skip ahead or listen to the whole CD. Gosh, I can't think what the last song I'm missing is. I've only had this CD for a few days (It's titled Penni's Loffly Muzik =D), but everyone on it rocks. I was agnoizing for hours about what songs I wanted on it, so only my very favorites are on. I highly recomend everyone I've mentioned. Just make sure you keep it clean. Placebo, especially, likes to swear and talk about drugs, but I love their lead singer's voice so much, and their music is VERY slashy... Anyway, while I'm trying to think of the song I'm missing, I'll tell about my spring break!

It was awesome. My parents took my brother and my exchange-sister to Chicago, and I remained home, through my own choice. I was the only one home. I stayed up until four or five or six and slept till one or two or three. And all I did really, was sit around on the internet. It was one of the best times of my life, although I was annoyed that people kept calling me. I just wanted to relax, bring me to the conclusion that I go back and forth from introverted to extroverted. I'm generally (Mebbe 90% of the time) extroverted, but when I'm introverted, I'm VERY introverted and I don't want to talk to anyone. I'd love to email, but no phones, no IM, no idle chatting. I'm too nice for my own good though. If someone wants to talk to me, I'm not going to just say "Go away and don't talk to me." without instantly regretting it. But then, becasue it is instant, people beleive I'm insincere. "No way," they think "could she have had a change of heart in such a short amount of time." But I did, I really did!

Yesterday (wow, this is a long post!) I was helping at my dad's classroom. On the way home, I told him how I was the only person in band who got a 6 on the meap test, when it was graded on a 1bad-6good scale. He said, "Do you care about the meap test?" I said "No" He says, "If you don't care about the test, then why do you care how well you did?" I said, kind of joking, "Bragging rights" He said, "why would you want to brag? Because you test well?" He asked me if I did my best. I said yeah, of course I did, it's not like I could be the best in the band and do a crappy job. He continued analyzing it for awhile, and eventually I just said never mind. I don't understand why he didn't realize that all I wanted was a "Wow, Penni! That's great! You beat all those other kids? ANd there're some smart people in band! I'm so proud of you!" It wouldn't have been that hard, I just wanted some recognition. Yeah, the meap is stupid and a waste of time, but I did well on it, and it wasn't hard, but it was a writing test, and I write well, and that's a mark of it. He doesn't have to analyze everything.

I was going back through my archives, and I'm amazed at how stupid I sounded. Even though I've only been keeping this blog for a year or so, I think I've matured a lot. I don't only use my blog as a gathering of days now, it's more of a time to think about things and analyze and make discovories and all that good stuff. I still do some diary stuff, but it's no longer just writing about it because it happened. There's generally a reason I'm writing about it now. I like my new blogging style a lot better! The old way was fun, but this is more interesting and makes me feel smarter. I think it might be like this because I moved all my hot guy rambeling here so I don't talk about guys on here anymore. No teenage hormonal omg-he-talked-to-me-today! giggling makes me sound MUCH more mature.

Still can't think of that last song. i'll figure out what it is at home, and then post. ~me~ at 1:25 PM
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