4.07.2004

I'm a night person. If I had my choice, I'd be going to bed when the sun comes up. I love going to bed around 5 or 6 AM and then sleeping until 2 or 3 PM. I love going for walks before I go to bed in the early morning. I love the feeling when I'm the only one awake. I feel special and like I'm in a class of my own. It's so cool to walk down a street in a residential area and know that there's probably no one watching, because they're all asleep. Also, it take more self-confidence to be around at night. You have to trust yourself, especially when you can't see well, not to run into anything.

This reminds me of the time during ATYP when we were blindfolded and walked around like that, guided by a partner. I was freaking out. I couldn't see, but I could FEEL that I was about to run into something, even though I was in the middle of a clear area. I was being guided, someone had my arm, but I was so scared. Then, at the famine, we played a game that involved being blind-folded and guided verbally. I had no fear in that game. That might be simply becasue I was in an area I knew better, with people I knew better, at the famine, but I think at some part of it I must have difficulties trusting people. I consider myself fairly outgoing, but not all that open. It'll look like you're getting everything, but you really need to earn my trust before I'll give away my innermost feelings. I trust myself to lead when I'm blindfolded, not some guy that I've seen maybe four or five times before for a few hours each time.

I'm listening to: Surrender, Cheap Trick. ~me~ at 3:18 PM
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