8.21.2004

I've decided that I need to learn to insult people better. It seems that when I get angry, my wonderful vocabulary just flies straight out of my head. One of my favored insults is "Stupid stupidhead", which doesn't quite do justice to the fiery inferno of my anger. Maybe if I told someone "You eat your own snot, you Ricky Martin loving self-righteous dewrag", they'd appreciate my sparkling wit. Although I think that "You will die a cheating mangled douchebag who pukes on the cat harassing dead carp and the necropheliac red neck" has a nice ring to it. And of course, I could always bring out my repertoire of foreign languages. Thanks to my foreign exchange students, I can call you a nasty little lizard in Thai, Chinese, and Korean. And I need to encourage my french teacher to teach my some good insults. About the best I could do right now would be to call someone a potty-headed fish. Ah well, the basic biting wit (I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you one day; Why would I want to make you look stupid? I don't want to take credit for the only thing you've ever done all by yourself!; I would have liked to insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn't understand me.) has always served me well.

Oh, btw, a lot of these insults came from various insult sites. Unfortunatly, I found them on a different computer --> they aren't in my history --> can't find the URL. Just know I didn't think of all of them.

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My house has wooden flooring in a lot of areas. In our front hallway, there are a few boards that swell in the summer and stick up a bit. We have a rug covering the spot, to make it less noticeable. I generally jump over the rug, because I don't really like walking over the swollen boards. If I take off right in front of the closet, I just clear the rug. I was walking up the hallway a few days ago, and I leaped from the same spot I generally do. However, I had just assumed the rug was in the same place. Someone had moved it forward just a few inches. I can down on the end of the rug, it slid forward with me on top of it, and I landed on my butt rather hard. Now I understand why people say never assume, and I'll always be able to spell it.

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I'm listening to: Bigmouth Strikes Again, The Smiths ~me~ at 2:14 PM
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