9.13.2004

Say you had an assignment in your English class, an assignment that involved writing a poem around aprox. 19 completely unconnected words. What might you come up with? If you're me, this is what you get (Required words in bold):

Le Morte d'Moses

There once was a man, name of Moses
With a personality that was quite corrosive
Narcissistic he was
But that was because
Of cheese he had rather large doses

He wanted to be a tycoon
And eat all of his cheese with a spoon
But if he did that
then he would get fat
and maybe fall off his pontoon

He'd have a pontoon, you see
And it would be plastic and funky
He'd wash it with passion
And stay with the fashion
And even defenestrate monkeys

But enough of this nice fantasy
Let us go back to reality
He's no entrepreneur
And is quite immature
And will soon acquiesce to mortality

He was a man of disinhibition
He was also a man of submission
So when pastrami called
He was enthralled
And died of appalling nutrition

When he died, no one was despondent
To obits, they weren't even respondent
He was a man they despised
And he wasn't baptized
And he hadn't a pen correspondent

Harmonic, the singer was not
And his good points the priest forgot
All he could think of to say
Was the ambidextrous way
That Moses could tie a square knot


Emancipation from life he achieved,
All his relatives were quite relieved
Although he hadn't a yacht
He did have a lot
Of money to give the bereaved

His heirs went out and yelled "Yay!"
And said "Salaam" to all in their way
All their friends became cuddly
And said they were studly
And mentioned their very low pay

(And now I have learned just one thing
In this very short little fling:
Try as I might
There's no place in sight
To fit derivative into these stupid limericks. Humph.)

I'm so very talented, am I not? (read: This poem is completely idiotic, but what do you expect when I have to use salaam, narcissistic, and pastrami in the same poem?)