10.04.2004

On Saturday, I was at my band competition (We got first, by the way, and best general effect. I guess all the time I spend at band really does pay off, even if I whine about it a lot.). We had just finished marching when my director pulled me over. She told me my parents were in a car accident, and that they were in the hospital. There is no way anyone can possibly know how scary hearing that is unless they've actually gone through it. She told me they were all right, just bumped and bruised, but hearing someone say that and actually seeing my parents and talking to them are two very different things. Luckily, they are all right. My dad is a little sore, and he didn't go to work today (monday). My mom is fine, she just has some random bruises. Once I got home from the competition (finally. That evening felt like it lasted forever and I just wanted to go home), I found out that my brother was in the crash as well, and he was actually driving. My brother doesn't even have his license yet, just his permit, and he's only had that since the summer. I'm not exactly clear on the details, but I think what happened was, there was a green light, and a big van in the center lane, next to my family. The van didn't go, so Max (my brother) assumed he had the right of way. He started turning, but he didn't see another car that was coming in his direction, because of the van. The other car collided with my family. My mom, my dad, and my brother were taken to the hospital in an ambulance. Max was completely fine, not even bruised, but my mom needed an x-ray and my dad needed a CAT scan. Luckily, both of them are completely fine.

I think though, that I was more traumatized by the whole thing than they were. I mean, how would you feel if your teacher pulled you aside and said "Don't worry, but your parents are in the hospital", which is exactly how she phrased it? And as I said before, it's one thing to hear that they are fine, and a whole other thing to see them. Also, I was, as I can tell now when I look back at it, being completely irrational. They weren't taken to the hospital nearest my house, they were taken to a different hospital in a bigger city. Instead of making the {correct} assumption that they were simply closer to that hospital, I figured they must have been badly hurt and had to go to the bigger hospital to get better care. I felt really loved though. Although at the time, I just wanted to get home, I think it's good that it happened at band. Almost ALL of my friends are in band, so there were a lot of people I could cry on, and I did. Honestly, it was kind of embarrassing how much I cried. I wasn't sobbing the whole time, but there were tears coming from my eyes for about five hours straight. I was just glad there were a lot of people to give me hugs. Oddly, one of the most comforting hugs I received wasn't from one of my really close friends. It was from one of our drum majors (C, not M). I've known him for forever, but we don't really hang out or anything. He's in my PALs class though, so I guess he's just a natural helper. I also felt very loved at school today. It's when things like this happen that I'm really glad I live in a small town. Almost everyone I saw asked me how my parents were and how I was doing. And I was so glad each time someone asked that I was able to say they were all right, and so was I. The accident could have been so much worse really easily. Relatively bad accidents like this (our car is totaled) are things that always happen to other people. They don't happen to me and to my family. It was just a really sudden reminder of mortality. All three of them could have died, and then where would I have been? They are my family. The very core of it. I don't know what I'd do without them. I guess all I can do is thank God that they're still here with me.

And now I think I've said everything I have to say on the subject. Phew, *deep breath*. I feel better now. This is one of the times I'm really glad I've got a blog.