12.06.2004

LOOK!!! LOOK!!! LOOK!!!!!!!!

penni im sorry for being mad at you, i know you were trying to help me, youre so caring about everyone, i wasnt mad at you i was mad at my parents for not believing me but i couldnt rightfully yell at them and because you started the ball rolling i guess i just took it all out on you and you didnt deserve it and im happy that you are feeling better, i am somewhat too

and, on his xanga he wrote

the first day since july that i dont feel depressed at all yeeehaaaaaaaa!!!! sarah made my day, im just so happy, and i apologized to penni and im not gonna talk about that movie [he and Sarah went to see Alexander] because it was litterally gay but anyways im happy, be happy for me

I am so happy. Just so so happy. I'm sure everyone else in the library thinks I'm insane, because I'm grinning like a fool and all teary-eyed, but I don't care. I'm SO HAPPY! And for the first time in close to a month, there is nothing hanging over my head, no big bad thing I need to worry about. I've had stages when I've been able to push things away and not worry about them for a second, but it's like a bruise, kind of. It wouldn't hurt so long as I didn't touch it, but even if I just brushed against it briefly, it hurt like you wouldn't believe. Now I'm completely healthy, emotionaly, at least. Wow, so this is what being happy feels like. Wow, I forgot how amazing it was. Squee!!!!